GOLDIE LOOKIN CHAIN
Stourbridge Town Hall
11th October 2025
Newport comedy rappers Goldie Looking Chain popped into Stourbridge Town Hall – Al Maslen was there to review the gig for Louder Than War.
Those of us old enough to remember the Sex Pistols can nowadays be overheard in the pub boring our mates with riveting facts like Live Aid was forty years ago, Annie Lennox is now an octogenarian, and three whole decades have passed since Robbie left Take That.
So when Welsh hip hop / rap legends Goldie Lookin Chain announced a tour to celebrate the twentieth anniversary of their ‘Safe as F*ck’ album, a ticket was a no-brainer, even though these days I’m more concerned with an upcoming hip op, rather than hip hop.
The GLC roadshow rolled into the West Midlands on 11th October, and a packed Stourbridge Town Hall hailed the Newport-based rappers with a full throated welcome that wouldn’t have been out of place in the Valleys. For an hour and a quarter the seven-man Cambrian crew vaulted, sprang and machine-gun rapped their way through banger after deliciously vulgar banger, the crowd bouncing along in sync. And judging by the huge amount of faux gold bling chains rattling around on fans’ necks it seems Temu has done quite well out of this tour as well.
The phrase ‘they don’t take themselves too seriously’ could have been invented for the GLC. Such is their mastery of the self-effacing gag that they strike the perfect balance between (a) appearing to take the piss out of rap and hip hop, while (b) coincidentally managing to be the among the sharpest and most entertaining acts in the genre, in the same way that Spinal Tap started life as a spoof but became the definitive rockumentary and The Princess Bride set out to parody the swashbuckling movie and turned into the best ever swashbuckling movie.
Not for GLC the tired cliché of building up to the big hits and holding them back for the encores, this set opened with a Top 20 smash – the gloriously explicit ‘Your Missus is a Nutter’ which on this tour has a more drum-and-bassy backbeat than the original but if anything this has made it stronger. Laughter and cheers abounded through established favourites ‘I Like Drinking’, ‘Ice Ice Dildo’, ‘Soap Bar’ and ‘Your Mother’s Got a Penis’ while the more recent tunes reflect the band members’ arrival in their forties, with the catchy summer hit ‘Pink Wine All The Time’ (“Pink wine you just can’t fail / apart from in a school or a high risk jail”) and the meaning of life explored via the hysterical mundanity of ‘Middle of Lidl’ (“This Christmas is going to be top drawer / my nan’s going to love this circular saw”).
It was great to see a full-strength crew on stage. Humble assassin Mike Balls was thankfully over the bad cold that had kept him confined a couple of shows ago, and he brought his solid rockstar authenticity to the party. Mischief-maker-in-chief Adam Hussain rabble roused magnificently, Eggsy was rapid-fire excellence throughout, and Rhys / Hutch captained the team, playing ringmaster, dashing purposefully between the DJ desk and the front of the stage. When you have Eggsy and Adam in attack somebody needs to play in central midfield, and hardworking Billy Webb worked the channels with aplomb, while Phil-I-Am delivered a fine supporting role, light on solo lines but grafting for the team throughout. Last but certainly not least, Graham the Bear’s charismatic stagecraft puts him up with the best, and he continues to grow his hair so that he can presumably front a Foo Fighters tribute if GLC ever call it a day.
An honourable mention for support band, Cardiff based Breichiau Hir. Set the potentially challenging task of performing Welsh language emo/punk fifteen miles from Birmingham, the six-piece held their line admirably with a confident blend of restrained fragility and growling power – definitely one to watch.
Ending where we began, with ‘Your Missus is a Nutter’ we could argue all day about whether the sentiment is relevant in these wakeful times, but who can disagree that the world is a better place for such rhyming couplets as “Last week she ended up on a binge / got off her tits and showed the bouncers her minge.” You knows it. Enjoy these brilliant, fearless men while you can.
GLC Tour dates: https://www.youknowsit.co.uk/tickets
Breichiau Hir dyddiadau teithiau: https://www.breichiauhir.com/live
Al Maslen occasionally writes for Louder Than War and this is his author profile. Image Mike Balls
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